A Van Driver and a Gentleman
I regularly give thanks for the good people I know – individuals who go above and beyond what their job description entails; individuals who look at themselves as part of a community that they should aid. They are the ones who make life worth living, no matter what the difficulties. I have so many such people in my life, but the impetus for today’s piece comes from a wedding I attended today morning – that of the son of my daughter’s van driver.
The van driver had come home specifically to invite me and the whole family for the wedding. Now, this gentleman has been God’s own blessing. He is kind, patient, punctual, polite, has never asked for advances and does not know the meaning of a temper. Why, even when his patrons are late in paying, he has never requested payment. On top of all these qualities, he will excuse himself for a maximum of two days each academic year – and best of all, will personally call each parent to inform them of his unavailability. Even as I write this, I am giving thanks- I have never ceased to be grateful for the presence of such humans who do what they do with so much integrity, kindness, perfection and concern.
My van driver was already very high in my estimation. But today, he rose beyond that. My friend informed me that the Muslim bride’s family had boycotted the wedding since it was an inter-religious marriage. They had refused to participate or accept the prospective (Hindu) son-in-law. My van driver not only accepted his son’s choice without demur but proceeded to convince his own extended family to accept the girl without reservation. Having done this, he then organised an exceptional wedding, completely at his cost, at a centrally accessible location, with excellent food for all the invitees. Why is this a big deal? Firstly, Indian marriages are often arranged within the strictures of religions and, within those, castes and communities. My van driver and his wife accepted the son’s choice seeing her only as a human, first and foremost (if only we could get so many of our other worldwide brethren to see it that way). Secondly, in most communities in India, it is usually the bride’s family that arranges the wedding celebrations and foots the bill. Families start saving up for daughters’ weddings right from birth.
The van driver never told me his story. I did not even know he had a son, or that he was in the process of arranging a complete wedding. He is an unassuming man who never speaks unnecessarily but is always available, cheerful and responsive and continued to be so during the past several weeks. He is coming tomorrow morning too. The courtesy, manners and commitment he extends sets an example for all of us to follow. A consummate gentleman. May God bless him and his whole family.
