A testing time
As school leaving examinations approach in India, tensions and anxieties run high – not just for the children but also for parents and everyone residing under the same roof. Even if we keep telling ourselves that there is life beyond this examination and regardless of what happens, life goes on and that even those who performed lack lustrely at this time have gone to achieve great things and find their niches, even as we remind ourselves, that all pervasive worry is unyielding. We give examples – see where AR Rahman is! Albert Einstein was called a dunce in school. Etc. Etc. But we don’t believe it. We hope, irrationally, that our hitherto immature children will suddenly see the light and achieve those impossibly high standards that our country and our peers have set upon themselves.
At this time, it is important to reflect on all that we do have – the fact that our children are alive and well, that they care about us and we about them, that we can have conversations with them, that we are blessed to have produced (hopefully) well adjusted members of society. The all consuming focus on a school leaving examination can alter all the above facets if we let it take us all over. Let us encourage. Let us be positive.
Health truly is wealth. As a friend said “we do not realise how important each body part is until it plays truant in any form”. If we have normal routine days most of the time, we are well and truly blessed. Let excitement be that which we create and decide for ourselves. Not of the unexpected snowball variety. If we have a comfortable and safe home and can purchase what we need without undue struggle, we are not struggling financially and are therefore blessed. If we have options in life, we are blessed. If we have elders and other supportive individuals in good health, we are fortunate.
Thinking so might feel like acts of consolation but these aspects are what truly matter and give us quality of life. It is all important to remember this. For few will achieve the ridiculously high scores that are considered successful in this day. We should accept it.
And do be aware that those who don’t scale that peak are actually every bit as good as those who did, maybe even better. To ace these exams to perfection requires diligent and tenacious bull work, often of the mind numbing variety. Examiners follow answer schemes – alternate methods and responses often do not score since they do not fall in the established pattern, for example. And it is all riding on one exam on a fixed day.
Yes, not achieving that all important excellent score could very well affect where they get into for their undergraduation – because many look, myopically, only at that score. But I am absolutely convinced that regardless of where they go now, they will each find the best place for themselves eventually. Please keep in mind that what they, and we, think is the holy grail of achievement, is not so rosy once achieved – there is something called Fit – not all institutions work for everyone. For many, an unexpected destination turns out to to be the best thing that ever happened.
The eventual rite of passage of a nationwide school leaving examination serves very important purposes – with life long ramifications well beyond entering a hallowed college. It trains children to work towards a goal some time away; it teaches them to focus, abstain from distractions, to multi task and deal with stress; it makes them resilient. A friend commented that she thought, on every occasion, that each subsequent stage of life would become easier – but it never did. What, in fact, had happened was that she got better at dealing with the multiple issues that were thrown at her constantly.
I know of people who were rejected as a student in a particular institution only to be given a red carpet welcome later as a valued employee. Such stories abound in all walks of life. So it is never the end. Not even close. This is merely – yes – merely one set of examinations. So deep in my heart, I do believe that we shall overcome. We will survive. We will thrive.
